KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK
Throughout the course of our friendship Dan has unloaded quite a bit on me. At different stages in life, naïve or mature Dan has poked me where it hurts more than once, but seldom has the pain stuck with me as it did the night he introduced me to KISS. Either I was searching for something or KISS is just that damn good but something stuck. Eighteen years later I still hold that same shit house grin that was plastered to my face the first time I saw KISS. The same grin that stretches across my face as I write this. KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK is everything to me. It’s the crème de la crème of KISS. It simple does not get more extravagant than that.
KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK took me from being a kid curious about KISS to becoming a kid whom wanted to know everything about the band. It was the catalyst that sent me searching through every newsstand, record store and bargain basement store in St. Joseph on the hunt for anything KISS. It was truly what got me hooked. I remember it vividly. Staring quietly at the Gene Simmons solo cassette, enjoying the rock strut of Paul Stanley in "Who Wants To Be Lonely" from KISS EXPOSED and then simply being floored by the cartoon cheesy-ness of KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK. It was a magical night, a night that has made every day since a little sweeter.
You could say that ever since the blood soaked pages of KISS’ Marvel Comics Super Special hit grocery store newsstands in the late seventies that KISS were destined to become superheroes. You could even go as far as to say that their superhero manifestation was destined from the moment the first time Gene, Paul and Peter donned whiteface in their New York City loft. Myself, I like to pinpoint one simple event in 1974 as the very reason we enjoy PHANTOM OF THE PARK today; Gene proclaiming himself as ‘evil incarnate’ on the Mike Douglas television show. When KISS first set out across the back roads of the United States with nothing more than a dream and Bill Aucoin's American Express card the easiest way for the foursome to gain exposure was television. Bill Aucoin, rising form the ashes of television production knew this and did the right thing by placing the Demon smack dab in the celluloid spotlight. What emerged was our first look as a rock and roll superhero. As the demon-bat sat eerily slumped in his chair, hissing and grinning at the housewives of America the first stone was set…leading us eventually ‘under the skytower’.
From that appearance in 1974 to PHANTOM’S debut in 1978 KISS itself through image and sound grew lighter. The black and white color scheme found itself sharing company with glittering gold, silver and neon amber orange lighting effects. The costumes grew more flamboyant, the album covers more defined and the sound itself tiptoed into the clear waters of pop music. One thing however never changed…and that was KISS’ loyalty to their fans. Fans whom by the end of 1978 numbered in the millions ranging from age nine to nineteen. KISS had become America’s band and every teen magazine on the newsstand reflected that. Anything stamped with a KISS logo from bubble gum cards to trash cans to transistor radios sold like hotcakes. KISS had gathered a cult like status among impressionable youths ensuring the success of KISS’ 1st television movie. As the studio execs, record company sharks, and financial planners grinned on KISS took their first steps into uncharted waters. Sadly, no one saw the ‘no swimming’ sign until it was too late. But for the time, PHANTOM OF THE PARK was as a wonderful gift to the loyalist from the world’s most celebrated rock and roll band.
Ultimately the reason PHANTOM OF THE PARK works is that it oozes that good time, Saturday morning, cheesy superhero cartoons that we loved as kids. From its cheap special effects to its unbelievable fighting sequences to the horrible dialogue everything gels perfectly in that unique and comforting ‘Saturday morning’ kind of way. The nature of the film alone calls for kids of all ages to gather in front of their televisions, sitting Indian style on shaggy basement rugs with a bowl of Rice Crispie's popping in the middle of their lap. This is exactly what we longed for in our television viewing. Superheroes…rock and roll…excitement…and pure un-adulterated escape. For that…the KISS media machine does not get any better than KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK. Never has…never will.
Some of the greatest moments of KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK are as you would expect the concert sequences. When the fireworks erupted and KISS began hovering to the stage from outer space to the strains of Ace’s "Shock Me" guitar solo I was smitten like a school girl to the larger than life-ness rock and roll power of KISS. They looked amazing. You could actually feel the excitement and high of an actual KISS concert. Adding the performance of "I Stole Your Love" I was completely done in for. That song sprung me headfirst into KISS euphoria thrusting me to fall in love with the LOVE GUN album and much later scream like a school girl as KISS opened with the same song during the HOT IN THE SHADE tour. Even though it was 12 years later and I was in the middle of Kansas at an outdoor arena, I felt like a bubbling 12-year-old kid at Magic Mountain rocking out at the top of my lungs. Had it not been for my love of PHANTOM OF THE PARK I would have never gotten to enjoy such a moment.
To quote THE LAND OF HYPE AND GLORY, "another high point – or hype point" comes when Gene or the prototype of Gene we shall simply call ‘The Demon’ destroys the park, followed up by the interrogation of KISS by Sneed and his staff poolside somewhere in the hills of Hollywood. My God what I wouldn’t pay to find and take a dip in that pool! Watching the cartoon theatrics of ‘The Demon’ stomp around an empty amusement park, rough house a few guards, and smash a tiny soda shed (tossing empty Coca-Cola cups to the ground with utter disregard for parks cleanliness) makes PHANTOM OF THE PARK special to those of us who love it. If you would sit down any friend, girlfriend or classmate who is not a KISS fan and show them this scene and they will ultimately tell you its ‘gay’ and that it is the stupidest thing they have ever seen. However, that is WHY it works for us. It’s far fetched…it’s completely unbelievable and it’s all KISS.
Of the moments in the film that I would suggest serves as one of the more outstanding (even by ‘PHANTOM-haters’ standards) would be the acoustic performance of "Beth". Granted it’s not a ‘live’ performance and understandably Paul is not actually playing the acoustic guitar but the calmness of the night in which it was filmed, the beauty of that acoustic guitar and the soft serenading of Peter’s vocals make everything work for that moment of the film. The look on Ace and Gene’s face as they somberly glance about the park, make for an incredible moment. The simplicity of the scene has remained one of the most powerful moments of the film for me. It could quite possibly be the single reason I enjoy the track "Beth". I was never a big fan of the song from DESTROYER but its placement in PHANTOM tugs at my heartstrings and turns me all gooey in that good ol’ fashioned nostalgic KISS way.
The final moment of the film that kept me up all night tossing and turning images of KISS ‘fantasia’ in my mind would have to be the exact moment the film ends. It’s stupid to admit. No one else probably gets it but something about that one frame…one last shot…messed with me and made me absolutely fall head over heels in love with the rock group KISS. The moment I am mentioning is the freezing of the frame before the ending credits as Gene begins to play "God Of Thunder" and the ALIVE II version of the song begins to play. My God…I love it! As Calvin states,
"He created KISS to destroy KISS…and lost", spinning Abner around all silver headed in his chair and that deep menacing groan of Gene’s bass is heard…followed by the Bass drum and rocket explosion…goosebumps stood miles high on my arms. I was a 15-year-old kid on the edge of my seat with rock and roll excitement. When suddenly as Gene begins to sing and the frame freezes capturing Gene in that classic rock star stance and glare I was in heaven. Totally swept away in rock and roll bliss. For that simple moment alone KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK was the most important moment of my young life as a rock and roll fan. I was just a kid in my mother’s basement and suddenly because of a silly television show I had just watched on my families VCR I believed there was more out there in the world. I suddenly saw life as more than just my small town existence in St. Joseph, Missouri. I believed in something. I believed in rock and roll. For the first time in a very long time I felt like I could achieve anything I wanted. It was the magical moment of discovering your dreams and discovering the magic of KISS.
To say I was bewildered by the fact that more than just my K-Mart purchased VHS tape of KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK existed would be an understatement. When Dan told me that a European version of the movie existed with different scenes, different chronological order, and the use of Solo Songs I was amazed and hell-bent on finding a copy. From the moment I saw the film and heard this news I began hunting. Good luck. I searched antique malls, magazine ads, bootleggers, comic book stores, video stores and even video catalogs and turned up nothing. Years later, thanks to the Internet I once again hit up the bootleggers and even tried my luck on Ebay and once again…nada. So, when Dan called me and said that KISS ATTACK OF THE PHANTOMS was to be included on the KISSOLOGY II DVD I was floored. Fucking amazed! I was ecstatic for weeks and honestly terrified that the day would actually never come. But it did…and yes I was amazed. It was like watching my favorite movie of all time on an Acid trip. Granted, I have never been on an acid trip but it felt very intoxicating to watch a movie I was so use to quoting word for word and now everything had been tipped upside down. Don’t get me wrong, I love it (not quite as much as the first) but it still ranks right up there. After all it’s still PHANTOM OF THE PARK…and the added scenes! Holy shit! Melissa – leaving the park in her red Volkswagen bug…the security guards being gassed in the Park Security trailer to "Almost Human"…I literally shit myself watching those scenes. It was as if I had discovered rare childhood archives from my past in a time capsule. It was great. It only made me love PHANTOM OF THE PARK that much more. (More to come on this discussion when we actually review KISSOLOGY II towards the end of this beast).
PHANTOM OF THE PARK is close to my heart because it was my first. Like never forgetting the soft smell of your first roll in the hay with the gal you always had a crush on…the memory remains sweeter in my mind than any other memory. It saddens me at times to feel like KISS wish to bury this gem. Then again there are a few home movies and old school photos I wish I could throw in the incinerator as well. I guess living through it and possibly being ridiculed for it would make you feel ‘less than a man’ and even ‘lesser than a musician’. However, it was a part of their history and I know for a fact there are a hundred kids exactly like me who absolutely love this movie. To me it is the perfect escape. The perfect chill out movie, and above all the perfect example of how KISS ruled the world in 1978. When you have the power to seduce young kids to gather in front of their television sets donned in Halloween costume mask of your likeness you’re pretty much on to something. KISS was on it in 1978. They were the biggest act in the world and permanently cementing their place in rock and roll history. To bad it took me 12 years to discover it. However…I wouldn’t change a single day.
KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK took me from being a kid curious about KISS to becoming a kid whom wanted to know everything about the band. It was the catalyst that sent me searching through every newsstand, record store and bargain basement store in St. Joseph on the hunt for anything KISS. It was truly what got me hooked. I remember it vividly. Staring quietly at the Gene Simmons solo cassette, enjoying the rock strut of Paul Stanley in "Who Wants To Be Lonely" from KISS EXPOSED and then simply being floored by the cartoon cheesy-ness of KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK. It was a magical night, a night that has made every day since a little sweeter.
You could say that ever since the blood soaked pages of KISS’ Marvel Comics Super Special hit grocery store newsstands in the late seventies that KISS were destined to become superheroes. You could even go as far as to say that their superhero manifestation was destined from the moment the first time Gene, Paul and Peter donned whiteface in their New York City loft. Myself, I like to pinpoint one simple event in 1974 as the very reason we enjoy PHANTOM OF THE PARK today; Gene proclaiming himself as ‘evil incarnate’ on the Mike Douglas television show. When KISS first set out across the back roads of the United States with nothing more than a dream and Bill Aucoin's American Express card the easiest way for the foursome to gain exposure was television. Bill Aucoin, rising form the ashes of television production knew this and did the right thing by placing the Demon smack dab in the celluloid spotlight. What emerged was our first look as a rock and roll superhero. As the demon-bat sat eerily slumped in his chair, hissing and grinning at the housewives of America the first stone was set…leading us eventually ‘under the skytower’.
From that appearance in 1974 to PHANTOM’S debut in 1978 KISS itself through image and sound grew lighter. The black and white color scheme found itself sharing company with glittering gold, silver and neon amber orange lighting effects. The costumes grew more flamboyant, the album covers more defined and the sound itself tiptoed into the clear waters of pop music. One thing however never changed…and that was KISS’ loyalty to their fans. Fans whom by the end of 1978 numbered in the millions ranging from age nine to nineteen. KISS had become America’s band and every teen magazine on the newsstand reflected that. Anything stamped with a KISS logo from bubble gum cards to trash cans to transistor radios sold like hotcakes. KISS had gathered a cult like status among impressionable youths ensuring the success of KISS’ 1st television movie. As the studio execs, record company sharks, and financial planners grinned on KISS took their first steps into uncharted waters. Sadly, no one saw the ‘no swimming’ sign until it was too late. But for the time, PHANTOM OF THE PARK was as a wonderful gift to the loyalist from the world’s most celebrated rock and roll band.
Ultimately the reason PHANTOM OF THE PARK works is that it oozes that good time, Saturday morning, cheesy superhero cartoons that we loved as kids. From its cheap special effects to its unbelievable fighting sequences to the horrible dialogue everything gels perfectly in that unique and comforting ‘Saturday morning’ kind of way. The nature of the film alone calls for kids of all ages to gather in front of their televisions, sitting Indian style on shaggy basement rugs with a bowl of Rice Crispie's popping in the middle of their lap. This is exactly what we longed for in our television viewing. Superheroes…rock and roll…excitement…and pure un-adulterated escape. For that…the KISS media machine does not get any better than KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK. Never has…never will.
Some of the greatest moments of KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK are as you would expect the concert sequences. When the fireworks erupted and KISS began hovering to the stage from outer space to the strains of Ace’s "Shock Me" guitar solo I was smitten like a school girl to the larger than life-ness rock and roll power of KISS. They looked amazing. You could actually feel the excitement and high of an actual KISS concert. Adding the performance of "I Stole Your Love" I was completely done in for. That song sprung me headfirst into KISS euphoria thrusting me to fall in love with the LOVE GUN album and much later scream like a school girl as KISS opened with the same song during the HOT IN THE SHADE tour. Even though it was 12 years later and I was in the middle of Kansas at an outdoor arena, I felt like a bubbling 12-year-old kid at Magic Mountain rocking out at the top of my lungs. Had it not been for my love of PHANTOM OF THE PARK I would have never gotten to enjoy such a moment.
To quote THE LAND OF HYPE AND GLORY, "another high point – or hype point" comes when Gene or the prototype of Gene we shall simply call ‘The Demon’ destroys the park, followed up by the interrogation of KISS by Sneed and his staff poolside somewhere in the hills of Hollywood. My God what I wouldn’t pay to find and take a dip in that pool! Watching the cartoon theatrics of ‘The Demon’ stomp around an empty amusement park, rough house a few guards, and smash a tiny soda shed (tossing empty Coca-Cola cups to the ground with utter disregard for parks cleanliness) makes PHANTOM OF THE PARK special to those of us who love it. If you would sit down any friend, girlfriend or classmate who is not a KISS fan and show them this scene and they will ultimately tell you its ‘gay’ and that it is the stupidest thing they have ever seen. However, that is WHY it works for us. It’s far fetched…it’s completely unbelievable and it’s all KISS.
Of the moments in the film that I would suggest serves as one of the more outstanding (even by ‘PHANTOM-haters’ standards) would be the acoustic performance of "Beth". Granted it’s not a ‘live’ performance and understandably Paul is not actually playing the acoustic guitar but the calmness of the night in which it was filmed, the beauty of that acoustic guitar and the soft serenading of Peter’s vocals make everything work for that moment of the film. The look on Ace and Gene’s face as they somberly glance about the park, make for an incredible moment. The simplicity of the scene has remained one of the most powerful moments of the film for me. It could quite possibly be the single reason I enjoy the track "Beth". I was never a big fan of the song from DESTROYER but its placement in PHANTOM tugs at my heartstrings and turns me all gooey in that good ol’ fashioned nostalgic KISS way.
The final moment of the film that kept me up all night tossing and turning images of KISS ‘fantasia’ in my mind would have to be the exact moment the film ends. It’s stupid to admit. No one else probably gets it but something about that one frame…one last shot…messed with me and made me absolutely fall head over heels in love with the rock group KISS. The moment I am mentioning is the freezing of the frame before the ending credits as Gene begins to play "God Of Thunder" and the ALIVE II version of the song begins to play. My God…I love it! As Calvin states,
"He created KISS to destroy KISS…and lost", spinning Abner around all silver headed in his chair and that deep menacing groan of Gene’s bass is heard…followed by the Bass drum and rocket explosion…goosebumps stood miles high on my arms. I was a 15-year-old kid on the edge of my seat with rock and roll excitement. When suddenly as Gene begins to sing and the frame freezes capturing Gene in that classic rock star stance and glare I was in heaven. Totally swept away in rock and roll bliss. For that simple moment alone KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK was the most important moment of my young life as a rock and roll fan. I was just a kid in my mother’s basement and suddenly because of a silly television show I had just watched on my families VCR I believed there was more out there in the world. I suddenly saw life as more than just my small town existence in St. Joseph, Missouri. I believed in something. I believed in rock and roll. For the first time in a very long time I felt like I could achieve anything I wanted. It was the magical moment of discovering your dreams and discovering the magic of KISS.
To say I was bewildered by the fact that more than just my K-Mart purchased VHS tape of KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK existed would be an understatement. When Dan told me that a European version of the movie existed with different scenes, different chronological order, and the use of Solo Songs I was amazed and hell-bent on finding a copy. From the moment I saw the film and heard this news I began hunting. Good luck. I searched antique malls, magazine ads, bootleggers, comic book stores, video stores and even video catalogs and turned up nothing. Years later, thanks to the Internet I once again hit up the bootleggers and even tried my luck on Ebay and once again…nada. So, when Dan called me and said that KISS ATTACK OF THE PHANTOMS was to be included on the KISSOLOGY II DVD I was floored. Fucking amazed! I was ecstatic for weeks and honestly terrified that the day would actually never come. But it did…and yes I was amazed. It was like watching my favorite movie of all time on an Acid trip. Granted, I have never been on an acid trip but it felt very intoxicating to watch a movie I was so use to quoting word for word and now everything had been tipped upside down. Don’t get me wrong, I love it (not quite as much as the first) but it still ranks right up there. After all it’s still PHANTOM OF THE PARK…and the added scenes! Holy shit! Melissa – leaving the park in her red Volkswagen bug…the security guards being gassed in the Park Security trailer to "Almost Human"…I literally shit myself watching those scenes. It was as if I had discovered rare childhood archives from my past in a time capsule. It was great. It only made me love PHANTOM OF THE PARK that much more. (More to come on this discussion when we actually review KISSOLOGY II towards the end of this beast).
PHANTOM OF THE PARK is close to my heart because it was my first. Like never forgetting the soft smell of your first roll in the hay with the gal you always had a crush on…the memory remains sweeter in my mind than any other memory. It saddens me at times to feel like KISS wish to bury this gem. Then again there are a few home movies and old school photos I wish I could throw in the incinerator as well. I guess living through it and possibly being ridiculed for it would make you feel ‘less than a man’ and even ‘lesser than a musician’. However, it was a part of their history and I know for a fact there are a hundred kids exactly like me who absolutely love this movie. To me it is the perfect escape. The perfect chill out movie, and above all the perfect example of how KISS ruled the world in 1978. When you have the power to seduce young kids to gather in front of their television sets donned in Halloween costume mask of your likeness you’re pretty much on to something. KISS was on it in 1978. They were the biggest act in the world and permanently cementing their place in rock and roll history. To bad it took me 12 years to discover it. However…I wouldn’t change a single day.
posted by RIC @ 7:41 PM
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